Monday, June 30, 2008

Grown-up Treats of the Week

Remember treats of the week? MacDonald's used to give out little toys and things for free, and a new selection every week. I don't think they do it anymore.

To wish everybody a Happy post-Pride-pre-Canada-Day day, I'd like to share some hot new sites and galleries For the Girls sent me. If you like "hunks" you'll be sure to find pleasure in these pics. Warning: These links are for adults only, as they contain a whole hell of a lot of nakedness.
Enjoy your treat of the week!

Stunning Hunks
Hunk Heaven
Man Meat
Slippery When Wet
Lust and Licking
Group Sex at the Party - this one's my fave
Lusty Loving Sex
Pussy Licking Pics
Cheeky Hunk
Big Bendy Dick
Beautiful Smile
Hot Indie Guy

Is it hot in here...?
Giselle Renarde

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Love Bites

I hear you're looking for a good menage anthology... Two hot guys and a gorgeous girl? Oh, and throw in some vampires too. Perfect!

About Love Bites - a menage anthology

edited by SA Clements
154 pages / 58700 words
ISBN: 1-933389-86-9
Available file types - html, lit, pdf, prc, paperback

One neck. Two sets of bites. Or bruises. Maybe hickeys. What more could a guy, or girl, ask for? Three lovers, three hot bodies; if you love ménage stories, then Love Bites has it all. From modern day working folks to werewolves and vampires to rock stars, the men and women of Love Bites generate enough heat to make us sweat, to keep us warm on even the coldest night.

Soap stars get busy in Camren August's Plus One. Erin O'Riordan's Oliver's Famous Clam Chowder sends a pair of werewolves to a vampire for the ultimate eating experience. C.C. Bridge sends grad students clubbing with hot results in Catseye, and in Birds of a Feather, by Dianne Fox, more than one unusual shapeshifter finds out that love comes in all shapes and sizes.

Tilt-A-Whirl Kisses, by Vic Winter proves that husbands and wives can have the same first love. Vampires play a hot game of one-upmanship in BA Tortuga's Marked. Quittin' Time, by BA Collins, has co-workers making nice in their time off, and Giselle Renard shows just how tempting it can be to find love in a coffee shop. Two hot guys and one smokin' girl will leave their mark on you! Read Love Bites today!

* * *

My contribution to this hotter-than-hot anthology is The Regular.

Saada and Toby have worked side by side at the café for years, so what's kept this perfect pair from getting together? The usual: other boyfriends, other girlfriends, same old story. Now the timing is right, it's a dark and stormy night, the boss has left early, and all the clocks have gone wonky. There's electricity in the air, and still the old friends need a push in the right direction. Lucky for them, the regular's hanging around well into the evening. He's a supernatural being otherwise known as Q -- Q as in Q-pid -- and his arrow's aimed straight at Toby's ass.

This is one hot and heartfelt story, if I do say so myself. Love Bites is available in e-book and print formats, so check it out today.

Monday, June 23, 2008

I cheated on my blog!

Shhh! Don't tell Donuts & Desires, but I'm blogging every other Sunday over at eXcessica.

For yesterday's post about the whole erotica versus porn controversy, read Ceci N'est Pas du Porn at eXcessica's fantabulous blog.

While you're there, check out my the Coming Soon page for my new novella, Tangled Roots, which is, well, coming soon to eXcessica.

Gosh, D&D would kill me if she ever found out...

Thursday, June 19, 2008

I'm Ruined!

Remember way back (okay, it was only a couple weeks ago) when I mentioned in passing that my new lover, the Sweet Transvestite, gives the best head ever? Remember how I said his tongue provides better clitoral stimulation than my vibrator? (If you missed the stark raving mad review, click here)

Yeah, so, I wasn’t exaggerating about that.

There’s a certain type of orgasm I’d only ever experience in the company of my go-to vibe before the days of Sweet. Two weeks ago, for instance, he had me up on a countertop. I don’t mind telling you that boy licked my clit until my foot started shaking like a hyper-happy puppy. It was completely out of my control, that foot motion. He’d found the sweet spot. He knew just what to do. I still haven’t figured out precisely what he was doing but, hell, it gets me off so why ask questions?

That frozen-in-time ecstasy was precisely the orgasm feeling I’d only ever had alone. But that was before Sweet. And it’s not that he’s merely on par with my vibrator. No, no, no. The vibe is a one-trick pony. It may vibrate faster or slower, but all it’s ever going to do is vibrate. Sweet is so much better. Sweet gives me variety.

There’s a problem, here.

My Sweet is on holiday right now. Guess what? I’m not. Try as I may with lesbian porn and no fewer than two vibes, I just can’t get off. AAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!! (that’s my sexual frustration speaking) Is it not the most irritating thing in the world to go at your clit for an hour and derive only flickers of pleasure from the experience?

He’s ruined me, that Sweet Transvestite. I’m hooked on the special brand of pleasure he gives me when he’s working away, face between my thighs. I can’t get that kind of satisfaction anywhere else. I’m frustrated, irritated, and left with nothing to show for it but a sink full of sex toys to wash. I’m ruined!

(How many days until Sweet comes home…?)

Monday, June 16, 2008

I'm wearing a suit

This weekend I went to a wedding. Like that wasn't bad enough, I also got hit by a beach umbrella. I have a tendency to be struck by flying objects. What can I say?

My priority in attending this wedding was ensuring that I wouldn't be hit on by any drunk guys (mission accomplished) and my method was cross-dressing. With Sweet away, I'm missing the transvestism. Of course, a girl wearing a suit doesn't have half the impact of a man wearing a dress, but attracting attention wasn't exactly my goal.

Anyway, I want to share with you a conversation between my mom and I because it made me laugh...

Mom: Did you find a dress for the wedding?
Me: No, I'm wearing a suit.
Mom: Why don't you look in your sister's closet? I'm sure she has a dress you can wear.
Me: No, I'm wearing a suit.
Mom: Do you want me to take you shopping? We can look for a dress.
Me: No, I'm wearing a suit.
Mom: I'll buy you a dress!
Me: No, I'm wearing a suit. (argh!)

Thursday, June 12, 2008

In My Secret Life

I spent Monday night in paradise.

Wrapping up the Canadian leg of his 2008/2009 World Tour, Leonard Cohen played his fourth and final Toronto concert to a sold out house and I was there!!! Remember me? I was the one screaming my ass off throughout I’m Your Man.

The silly girls sitting behind me giggled, “Aw, he’s so cute!” Excuse me? Cute?!? Try sexy, smouldering, seductive! Does it take Giselle Renarde the Grave Robber to suggest that, at 73, Leonard Cohen is still white hot and workin’ it? He was certainly in fine form Monday, trademark smoky vocals even boasting brighter tones than I’ve heard in any of his past recordings.

And why, I’m often asked, do I constantly refer to Leonard Cohen as my Secret Husband (so secret even he doesn’t know about it yet)? What’s his appeal? It’s the voice, the music. It’s the words, the poetry. It’s the wry wit, the cynical optimism, the literary sexuality that makes him my perfect pretend husband.

I’m Your Man sums it up perfectly, which is why I couldn’t contain myself when Leonard sang those opening lines, “If you want a lover, I’ll do anything you ask me to.” I had a screaming, applauding concert-orgasm. People laughed. Ahem. But if you want my idea of a perfect partner, just listen to that song. It’s all about a desire so deep for the lover that he’ll meet her on her terms, whatever they may be. It isn’t cloying or pathetic, though. No, no, no. He speaks of that longing to beg and plead, to “fall at your feet” and “howl at your beauty like a dog in heat,” but says he’s not going to do that because those methods don’t work. He’s going to let her call the shots. ALL the shots. And that, my friends, is why Leonard Cohen is my man. Now at 73, and forevermore.

If Leonard Cohen’s coming your way, go see him. Check the World Tour schedule. He’s performing with the Webb Sisters and his collaborator Sharon Robinson singing backup. Here in Toronto, he gave us six encores! He’s a generous and humble performer and he sure gave me a night to remember ;-)

Monday, June 9, 2008

Monday Miscellany

I'm launching a new feature for the summer, folks! The garbage is starting to stink in this heatwave, so Monday Miscellany is taking over its designated slot.

What is Monday Miscellany? A grab bag of bite-sized posts: sex, donuts, beautiful images, sex, maybe a little bit of poetry in there, some quotes, some more sex... You'll just have to wait with bated breath for each new installation. And for the first...?

Reluctantly Washing the Floors

Update on the flooring situation: I had to wash the parquet after my very regal tabby projectile-vomited all over my bedroom. (I wish I'd taken pictures. It was everywhere.) Isn’t my life endlessly glamorous? Anyway, that means no more spots of transvestite precum on the floor. And with my Sweet away on vacation, too...

So sad. It’s not easy being clean.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Free the Condoms!

In this liminal space between the release of Coming Together: With Pride and Pride itself, I want to take the opportunity to a) celebrate safer sex, and b) decry the high cost of condoms. Like those giant pharmas withholding meds because their bottom lines are more important than real people, condom manufacturers charge way too much for their product. I mean, come on! It's just a little latex.

Condoms should be free! And sometimes they are. Planned Parenthood and other sexual health and social service centres offer condoms free of charge because they know just how important a role latex plays in preventing the spread of disease.

I've done my homework and put together a fairly comprehensive listing of locations throughout Canada where free condoms are available. I felt it was important to do the legwork here because, even with the miracle of the internet, it just didn't seem easy enough to find this kind of comprehensive list for Canadians looking for condoms.

Most Colleges and Universities also have their own Sexual Health centres, so if you’re a student safe sex can start right on campus.

As a disclaimer, I ought to say that I'm not a medical doctor and nothing here should be construed as medical advice. Also, the following information was correct at the time I did my research. My apologies if anything is outdated.

And now, a listing by province of sexual health clinics where free condoms are distributed:

Red Deer

Vancouver and beyond

Winnipeg *scroll down for a listing of teen clinics

Halifax, Nova Scotia
St John's, Newfoundland

Grey Bruce County (Walkerton, Chesley, Owen Sound)
Guelph *looks like they offer the morning after pill for free as well
Halton (Burlington, Georgetown, Milton, Acton)
Prince Edward and Hastings Counties (Belleville, Trenton, Madoc, Picton, Bancroft) *website specifies "reduced cost contraceptives"
Thunder Bay

*I found lots of sexual health clinic here - that's why it's called Toronto the Good ;-)
Immigrant women's health centre
Planned Parenthood
Sexual health centres
More sexual health centres
Women's health matters

*suivez ce lien pour toute une liste des cliniques au Québec


I didn’t have much luck with my research into clinics in Nunavut, Yukon and the Northwest Territories. I understand that First Nations health centres are operated by the Nations themselves, so that’s a start. Otherwise, here’s a pretty comprehensive listing, though most centres don’t seem to have websites:

Wow! What a list. I hope all my fellow Canadians can find a sexual health centre nearby. Pick up some condoms, get some STI testing done, get informed... Let's all make use of these valuable resources and make the sexual landscape a little bit safer for ourselves and our partners.

Bright Blessings,

Monday, June 2, 2008

Coming Together: With Pride

It's official, tarts and vicars! Coming Together: With Pride is now available, with all proceeds going to benefit Avert. AVERT is an international HIV and AIDS charity based in the UK.

AVERT has HIV and AIDS projects in countries where there is a particularly high rate of infection, such as South Africa, or where there is a rapidly increasing rate of infection such as in India.

They also take AIDS education and information to people in almost every country in the world through their web site,, the world's most popular AIDS website.

So, we're all agreed that AVERT is great. Now, about
With Pride: Buy this anthology only if you want to help out a wonderful charity AND read hot fiction by inimitable and incredible authors (and me... maybe I'll be the "infamous" one. Or perhaps "iniquitous" is better). Here's what you're getting:


What an incredible line-up!

My story,
Nuit Blanche, will appeal especially to my fellow Torontonians, as it takes place at last year's Nuit Blanche, our all-night contemporary art thing. Perhaps you'll recall some of the exhibitions mentioned. Remember lying on your back on Trinity College's Rugby fields to stare up at the String of Diamonds? Remember the stuffed beaver at the AGO's End of Party Party? I've never gotten so sweaty to Abba! Did you reveal all at the Secular Confessional? Did Audrey and Lawrence? Find out what they got up to while you were waiting in that huge lineup for The Ghost Station.

There are plenty of ways to get your grubby little hands on a copy of
Coming Together: With Pride. It's available in print and as an e-book from Phaze, in print from Amazon, as an e-book from All Romance Ebooks, among other sellers.

I also want to plug this wonderful interview with Alessia Brio at Lucrezia Magazine.

Coming Together: With Pride. Be a dear and get it while it's hot.